American export

OK Acapulco. Well I honestly was not that excited about going to Acapulco b/c everyone goes there for Spring Break…gag me. You know it was great, actually. The best part for me was we docked in “old Acapulco” which meant all of the resorts and hotels and McDonalds and stupid American exports were on the other side of the bay.

The Good:
I spent my first day walking all over with some wonderful new friends. We found the local market and I was in heaven. It was amazing and very similar, in some ways, to the Guinean markets that I loved. It was my favorite day. However I also had some great days following as well.

On our 2nd day a group of 6 of us decided to go to this island just outside the bay, very very close, and lay on the beach (I have the toughest job in the world) and we had to take a ferry to get there, obviously. So we had heard that the ferry’s right near our dock would take you there with a short tour of the bay…short tour my ass. We ferried by this one point where all of the celebrities live, Ricky Martin, Enrique Iglesia, and a bunch of people I never heard of, (not to mention the tour was in Spanish…right) ok no big deal we rounded the edge of the bay and could see the island…not far…not long till we get there. So we get close to this one point and two guys jump off the boat and start climbing this rock face and after much stretching and pomp and circumstance then dive off, it was cool but very drawn out. The we putter off towards the island and stop off at shrine of the Virgin of Guadalupe, the Mexican tourist on our ferry loved it, that’s nice. Then we stopped by a rock that looked like an elephant…ok…then we stop again so the cliff diving guy can snorkel under the boat (I forgot to mention it was glass-bottomed) and entice 4 fish to swim after him so the little kids to see it…snore. Now we think we’re home free we’re so close to the island and were heading in…so close. Our last stop consisted of us tendering up to a food boat…similar to a lunch wagon only in the water…and since we’ve been held hostage now for an hour people are actually buying things. Not to mention the tacky chochky guys are paddling up in their boats to sell us shells and small statues of the Virgin. UGH…so I’m like “That’s it” and figure if we don’t get the last two cabanas available on the beach I’m going to cry. So I ask the boat leader, in broken Spanish and sign language if it’s ok for me to swim to shore. He said yes. I immediately disrobed (I already had my bathing suit on) and left my things with a friend, dove off the side of the boat and swam to shore. I miss judged the distance and it was a bit further then anticipated but a nice light workout for the day. About halfway in another much smaller boat passed me, with 3 very surprised Mexicans in it wondering what the heck this Gringa was doing in the water. I said hello, as I was doing the backstroke and then denied that I was drunk since they asked and must have assumed I would have to be to jump off the ferry. Well I got to the island reserved the cabanas and we had a fabulous afternoon. Before dinner we went to see the cliff divers…ohmygoodness these guys are nuts but it was beautiful b/c we saw them at sunset. Basically 6 or 7 guys climb up a vertical rock face (without equipment they all wearing only Speedos) Then precede to dive from 9 or 10 stories above the water and they can only do this certain times of day when the tide is high enough to not kill them in the tiny ravine they drop into…oy vey. Then to dinner…delish. Well it was Mario’s birthday so we went to a karaoke bar, fun but we wanted to go to a club…but not the big American expensive clubs. We found this place that was a 15 USD a head club (I though it was a lot) but it included your drinks and there was a live band. One of the faculty members is from Spain and he taught me to dance after I stepped on his feet a few times. Then the dancing was over and we had somewhat of a variety show with dancers and a couple’s competition then some drag queens and I was in heaven. I laughed and cheered after the show they handed out streamers on the end of these sticks and big long clown balloons and we all jumped into a gigantic conga line around the whole place!!!!!! OUTSTANDING!!! The best part about the whole night was we were the only Americans there.

My last two days were relaxing and calm, one day just bummed around a different part of town and hand lunch and dinner with friends. Yesterday was super relaxing as we just hung and this pristine beach north of Acapulco, again no Americans to be found, only one small problem.


The Bad:
I got my ass kicked by a wave. No really. The waves on this beach were awesome and huge. So I thought it would be great body surfing…humpf. First wave in I go with it…and it flips me completely over and body slams me on the bottom of the ocean, still underwater still I try to right myself but I don’t know which way is up. I finally get me feet under me stand up and I’m facing the ocean and completely dizzy just in time to get hit with another wave. I held my ground on wave #2 but I now have 14 lbs. of sand in my bathing suit and hair. Realizing I bit off a little more then I can chew I go in shore a few more yards and try to catch a “little” wave…HA HA. My 2nd and last attempt at body surfing had me flip over and over extend the entire right side of my body…bathing suit and all. So there I stand on the beach a la Janet Jackson with a wardrobe malfunction. Which was perfect timing because my friend Doug looks at me with the phrase of the weekend, coined 3 days earlier “Hola boobies”. After I adjust myself I note there is defiantly something amiss about my shoulder/chest area I can’t quite put my finger on. I continue to frolic in the water and get knocked over and splashed around. The last straw however was when I had my back to an incoming wave and thought I could stand through it and it knocked me over straight forward onto my knees and proceeded to scoot me across the sandy floor which felt like cement and had the same effect on my knees. I quit and now I have a pulled muscle in my chest and it sucks but I should heal no problem in a few days.

The Ugly:
The American export: the drunk. As I referenced above the Mexicans thought I was drunk to be swimming in from my ferry…in their defense it was a weird thing to do but whatever. Throughout the markets, the more touristy ones, you could find any number of drinking paraphernalia. One of the more annoying ones read “To drink or not to drink; what a stupid question”. Do people really buy that crap? And to take the cake had to be a series of shot glasses that had a white drunk individual bleary eyed with his pants down in various stages or passed out, hanging out (if you will). I don’t think Mexicans researched college campuses or websites to find these images. Rather one too many Americans came to visit their country and made such a memorable impression that in return it is now funny, and profitable, to sell these images right back to them….on what else….a shot glass. Food for thought the average yearly income for an individual in Acapulco is about $1,200 USD…how many of you have spent that much on a week long vacation to Mexico???